Change is hard. Especially change that is helpful for your physical health, mental health, and overall well-being. Starting, creating, and maintaining habits of positive and healthy change is challenging and difficult. According to a National Institute of Health Study, 73% of smokers wish to stop smoking, while 22% try to stop, and 5% are actually able to sustain quitting. According to another study done by UCLA, while people may lose 5 to 10 pounds on a fad diet, it actually does not lead to actual sustained weight loss for the majority of people. Although creating movements of change can be challenging and difficult, this does not mean change cannot happen. People can and do make decisions to change and sustain these actions. This is done by continually making a mindful and conscious choice to either do (or not do) a specific action or behavior. The saying “one day at a time” from the tradition of Alcoholics Anonymous resonates perfectly with this topic. This saying means making a conscious decision to not drink for this day and this day only. For some who are recovering from a more severe alcohol dependence, this saying can even get reduced to “one moment at a time.” For those who have very intense cravings, the saying can even become “one second at a time” when encountering the crucial decision to drink or not to drink alcohol.
As we notice from the example of an alcohol dependent person, it is easy for intense thoughts, feelings, cravings, and strong internal experiences to lead a person off track from making actual change and from making the daily decisions to form new habits. This experience is the point where the “rubber meets the road.” In other words, we have a choice when these internal sensations come about like a wave in the ocean (highly intense for a moment, then softens and passes). The choice is: do we follow what matters to us (taking care of our health), our purpose (being alive for our family), and our values (caring for ourselves)? Or do we follow what internal habits we are experiencing in this moment? Taking a step back, mindfully being aware and noticing these feelings, can give us enough space to allow us to make the choice versus our internal experiences simply making the choice for us. I leave you today with a skill I teach many clients I work with called the STOP skill (created and originated by Marsha Linehan, PhD, creator of Dialectal Behavior Therapy). It follows as this: S – Stop (allow a moment to pause) T – Take 3 deep breaths O – Observe (what you are feeling; what thoughts are coming your way; what you are doing) P – Proceed (with making an informed choice) When it comes to making changes in habits, it is not easy. Our insides know how we have been doing things. We are fully conditioned to those habits and typically called back into them even when we try to do new actions, behaviors, or life pursuits. Practicing skills such as the STOP skill can allow space to make an informed choice before these old feelings call you back into the old ways that you are ready to change. One moment at a time. One action at a time. References: all skills and ideas in this blog are credited to both the creators of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (Steven Hayes, PhD; Kirk D. Strosahl, PhD; Kelly G. Wilson, PhD; Robyn Waler, PhD) and Dialectal Behavior Therapy (Marsha Linehan, PhD).
0 Comments
|
Details
AuthorCorbin Henningsen, LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist in the Oklahoma City and Edmond, OK areas. He enjoys helping people who struggle with depression, anxiety, and traumatic memories. He has worked as a therapist since 2016 and has operated a robust and growing private practice since 2020. He loves to help his clients through a down-to-earth approach that helps them make sense of their internal pain while taking reasonable steps toward values, meaning, and purpose. Archives
June 2024
|