As the new year is upon us, many of us will find ourselves making that list of goals that we hope to change in order to improve life. Potential goals you may have include: working out, losing weight, quitting smoking, cutting back on the sodas, saving more money, working toward a promotion, drinking more water, eating a better diet, etc. The idea of having goals for positive and healthy change for the new year is quite common. Sadly( while I know I mentioned in the title that I wanted to provide you an encouraging post), it can be discouraging to know that, for most, this change will be short-lived. Life will likely fall back into the same-old usual patterns by the end of January.
Why will this likely happen? Because for most of us, we view change as an all-or-nothing idea. When thinking in all-or-nothing patterns, we tend toward the idea that change must be perfect even when we start back into old habits or “fall off the wagon.” There is no room for mistakes when we are thinking in all-or-nothing terms. It is one experience when you say to yourself on January 1, “I am going to lose weight!” It is whole different experience when you feel that intense sugar craving after a stressful day at work. It is not uncommon for the mind to start to rationalize all the reasons why it is a good idea to eat that big cookie, even after making the declaration that you were going to change this habit. After you eat that first cookie, it is also not uncommon for the mind to say “see, you’re right back where you started. You can’t do this!” Then the whole habit starts over for the year, only for you to make that same declaration in 2025 (how incredibly frustrating!). So, where is the encouragement? It is in the idea that most change processes are better viewed as a marathon rather than a sprint. What does this mean? It means that even if you “fall off the wagon” we can begin to recognize that making small changes can begin to help build on larger patterns of change. For example, instead of eating the entire cookie you eat half of the cookie. Another idea, instead of eating the cookie you eat an apple. Maybe the next day you have a cookie and then the day after you have an apple. The point is this: making small changes and building on patterns of small changes can be an incredibly helpful process to help us allow flexibility with making progress toward our goals. In closing, I would ask you: what is one area you can create small change for yourself or even experiment with change in order to take steps toward your hopes and goals for 2024?
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Details
AuthorCorbin Henningsen, LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist in the Oklahoma City and Edmond, OK areas. He enjoys helping people who struggle with depression, anxiety, and traumatic memories. He has worked as a therapist since 2016 and has operated a robust and growing private practice since 2020. He loves to help his clients through a down-to-earth approach that helps them make sense of their internal pain while taking reasonable steps toward values, meaning, and purpose. Archives
June 2024
|